Bill Bumgardner of Lord Mantis, Indian, and Burning Churches recently died the 9th of October, 2016 at the age of 35. He took his own life. Much of what I wanted to say publicly I think I got out already. I was a part of serving the eulogy for Bill at the funeral home which was both painful but also helpful to write. I also wrote a piece that I posted on the Lord Mantis website. I’m the sole manager of that site, and that seemed like the most proper place to say anything when I again felt able to write after the eulogy. Here is an excerpt of that:
“Everyone got to see images of him throughout his life and share in the best of their own stories of him. Many of them hilarious beyond belief cause he was just a natural born comedian most of the time to those who knew him. Besides that and perhaps most importantly to his fans he was also a vicious and powerful performer. The fucking most shining example to anyone of pure unadulterated rawness when he played. I’ve never seen or felt anything like it personally. I was blessed enough to know and play with him. If you were fortunate enough to see it I’m not sure how you could disagree.
The emotion I and so many others have been dealt with is the impact of a comet none of us could imagine or foresee. At least not in this fashion, but life is life. Sometimes the unknown decides for itself when to make itself known, and when it does it can hit you harder than you ever could imagine. Knowing him as well as I did we both knew of many of each others demons. Of course we would. If you want to know look at the music he made. It’s all right there if you listen, and it’s pure.”
So it’s been a surreal two weeks. I miss my friend greatly and also the viciousness of our musical chemistry. In any case, such events are also opportunities to grow, and the show must go on. Bill was a great man and musician, and he will be honored by me as such. ‘How’ is something that will take time to know. As of now, he’s manifested on the many records he helped create. With his passing there is such a huge void left in his place. I know he and I and the rest of us are happy with the music that we’ve been able to make together during our mortal lives. May the fans continue to enjoy it in the times to come.
I will get back to mailings when I return to the desert at the start of November. I’ve sent out the necessary emails notifying anyone with an unfulfilled order. Thanks for your words, but also your patience.
I will take my leave with a link to CLRVYNT where I and many others including Sanford Parker, Bruce Lamont, and Greg Gomer left some words for Bill.
Once again Bill, may you rise through your chaos to an ever greater form.
– A.M.
I took this picture of Bill while we were on the Summer Slaughter Tour. I especially took this photo because it represents the building of what creates such raw emotions. The beat controls everything.
Ah I did not know that. It was an honor to know him and play music with him.
Miss my brother so much. Your words help in so many ways
I was Bills hair stylist for almost the last 10 years. I was supposed to cut his hair Monday October 10th. When I talked to him that Sunday the 9th, he rescheduled his hair cut for Tuesday the 11th because he said he had to work Monday. It breaks my heart every time I think that I spoke to him just a few hours before he took his life. I miss him very much. ❤️
I remember meeting you once or twice. I will never forget my conversation over the phone with him the night before. I struggle with what happened in a profound way just because our thought currents were so closely aligned. I always found Bill to be the pillar of strength, but then he kills himself? He was always overcoming any shit life threw at him. I’ve had my share of troubled days and nights about it since. I feel like I can pinpoint the exact mood and frame of mind in his last moments. It’s a maelstrom known to me too. The alternative to my frame of mind is largely way less appealing. I find it sheepish even. A hideous personality perhaps. Through it all and regardless of how my life continues forward, there is at least a strength in knowing I am still here now and able to initiate change. I’m not as ashes yet and sometimes I even feel as if I never will be. I have some of Bill’s ashes in a small cylinder. Sometimes I will hold it and think through things and my own madness. At times I feel like he wishes he was in my shoes right now, but maybe not. Obviously he chose not to be in his own shoes. I want to burn forever. In hell or no hell. Ruthless to myself and everything.